It’s-a me, Mario, and here’s my dick.
We all know Mario, the lovable plumber who rescues princesses and climbs through pipes.
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Recently we learned that our overall-sporting hero has nipples, but guess what, y'all? Now we know what Mario's dick looks like too.
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Yeah, you read that right. As writer Luke Plunkett recently pointed out for Kotaku, there was a series of officially licensed comics about Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom that came out between 1988 and 1998.
Imgur / Via imgur.com
And it was here in the first issue, Super Mario Land #1, that Mario's dick made its debut. So let's set the stage, shall we? Mario is just chilling and talking with a robot when suddenly a fish carcass comes out of the water and bites his ass.
Imgur / Via imgur.com
The bite is so strong it sends Mario flying out of his overalls, and that, my dearest friends, is when we see Mario butt-ass naked with his whole package out in the open.
Imgur / Via imgur.com
Mamma mia! It's-a penis!
Is that a Goomba in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Imgur / Via imgur.com
Remember how on the Super Mario 64 title screen you could stretch out Mario's face?
Imgur / Via imgur.com
What if you could do the same thing, but with Mario's...meatballs.
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Okay, I'm done, but have fun not being able to unsee this dick!
Imgur / Via imgur.com
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