I’d eat without hesitation. WITHOUT. HESITATION.
The inside of a golf ball:
Why I'd Eat Them: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Juicy, tender golf meat.
Purple glue:
Why I'd Eat Them: Well, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Grape push-pop, obviously.
Insulation:
Why I'd Eat Them: Did I mention that I'm a big fucking idiot?
What I think they'd taste like: Cotton candy flavored house-meat.
Lava:
Why I'd Eat Them: In case you were wondering, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Planet soup.
Aquarium gravel:
Why I'd Eat Them: Uhhhhhh... I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Rainbow Nerds.
Packing peanuts:
Why I'd Eat Them: FUN FACT: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Mint cheetos.
Deodorant:
Why I'd Eat Them: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Delicious lime goop.
These things:
Why I'd Eat Them: Hmmm. Tough question. Probably because I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Nature's corn dog.
Cleaning solution:
Why I'd Eat Them: Gee, well, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Forbidden soda.
Ceiling:
Why I'd Eat Them: The main reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Slightly tough kettle corn.
A long yellow hose:
Why I'd Eat Them: As my grand pappy used to say: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Long banana.
Bouncy balls:
Why I'd Eat Them: You know, lots of people have been asking me why. The answer may surprise you: I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Nature's gum-balls.
Those goopy fish things:
Why I'd Eat Them: *JFK Voice* Ich bin ein big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Ice cold lemonade after a long hot day.
Many sided die:
Why I'd Eat Them: In case you haven't heard, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Warheads, but with a gooey center.
String instrument resin:
Why I'd Eat Them: Well, the biggest reason would be that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Sweet, goopy honey. Gimme that goop.
Dishwasher tablets:
Why I'd Eat Them: John 8:32: "I'm a big fucking idiot."
What I think they'd taste like: Melt in your mouth black cherry sweet tarts.
A 3500 year old amber bear amulet.
Why I'd Eat Them: I'll take "I'm a big fucking idiot" for 200, Alex.
What I think they'd taste like: The most beautiful, precious gummy bear.
Molten iron:
Why I'd Eat Them: 私は大きな馬鹿だ.
What I think they'd taste like: Spicy chipotle honey.
Oil:
Why I'd Eat Them: Chief among the reasons would be the fact that I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Rich, almost TOO sweet, chocolate syrup.
Drywall:
Why I'd Eat Them: Where to begin... where to begin... Well, for starters, I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: Funfetti frosting.
Microwaved soap:
Why I'd Eat Them: EXTREE EXTREE, READ ALL ABOUT IT! I'm a big fucking idiot!
What I think they'd taste like: Delicious, nutritious roll.
Silica beads:
Why I'd Eat Them: Honestly? I'm a big fucking idiot.
What I think they'd taste like: The first bite of that apple in the Garden of Eden. A baby's first lick of ice cream. Your favorite meal. Pure, moist deliciousness.
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