It’s well known that the only things you can control in life are your behavior and your reactions – and sometimes even those can be a struggle. In difficult times, it is useful to remain calm and be able to view problems from a detached, logical perspective. This is the most practical way of solving the problem quickly. However, this is easier said than done. Keeping your cool in an argument or high-pressure situation can make the difference between making the right or the wrong decisions, so it’s important to be able to control your initial feelings and focus.
One: Simplify Your Life
Does drama seem to follow you at every turn? Do you find yourself stressed more than not? Sometimes the clutter of life can distract you from the space your mind needs to reflect and heal after a day’s events. Old friends from school may not be the same people they were when you first met in gym class. It’s understandable to grow apart from people you were once close to but it’s unhealthy and unnecessary to deliberately cling to a failing relationship. Chances are that after you let go of the people who have been keeping you in a negative mood you will feel a dramatic difference in yourself. Much like shedding heavy luggage at the end of a long journey, removing unwanted and unhelpful distractions from your life – be they people, routines, bad habits – will leave you feeling refreshed and ready to approach life more reasonably.
Two: The Importance of Introspection
As mentioned earlier, having time to reflect after being busy for extended periods of time is a valuable way to learn more about yourself and develop as a person. By knowing more about yourself you can easily identify situations and people who might spark significant unpleasant feelings in you. Be honest with yourself, too. Are there aspects of your personality that cause you to behave irrationally in tricky situations? Trace these reactions to their root and carefully address the real issue. Do you become angry when someone disagrees with your opinion? This might be a defensive reaction from a previous event in your life that subconsciously taught you that anger is a reasonable or necessary response to disagreement. Once you understand these things about yourself you become more aware of your behavior and can even predict how you might instinctually react in certain scenarios. It is more difficult to train a habit into yourself when you don’t know what you’re aiming for. If anger is your problem, focus on that. If you become anxious easily, that’s what you should work on. Identifying your idiosyncratic ways of thinking is something only you can puzzle out.
Three: Prioritize Your Feelings
While negative emotions are occasionally useful and are sometimes even required, few of us actively choose to feel unhappy. Decide how you want to feel and isolate the circumstances you would most often associate that feeling with. Of course, it’s unreasonable to hope that every waking moment will be filled with unparalleled delight. Aiming for long-lasting and general contentment, however, is not a far-fetched goal. Seek what brings you this contentment and learn to adapt your life to accommodate it, instead of feeding the negative distractions that pull you away. If there are personal issues that get in your way, work out a strategy to resolve them. Sometimes vices like unhealthy relationships or addiction can interrupt the hard work it takes for you to measure your emotions so you can remain calm under pressure. Identify your own roadblocks and set out to clear them. Visit http://ift.tt/2kbeX2r to find the help you might need before focusing on more nuanced issues like preparing yourself for unpleasant situations.
Four: Distractions
Sometimes the circumstances that are trying to rile you are ongoing and seemingly inescapable. Unlike mentioned in step one, these distractions are provided by and for you deliberately to soothe your mind during difficult times. This will only work properly if you have already found a way to eliminate unwanted distractions beforehand. Choosing to be distracted in order to maintain your calm is very different to letting yourself be pulled into the stressful drama of a bad situation. Find relaxing hobbies or block out a half hour in the evening with the sole purpose of removing yourself from whatever is worrying you. Letting your fears or concerns dwell in your mind too long can become a vicious cycle of overthinking. Give yourself and your brain time to rest so that you are better prepared to deal with the problem when the time comes.
Five: Strength from Inside
Create a solid base within yourself. From this base, you can assess every moment in your life that threatens to take away those precious feelings you decided to focus on in step three and choose how you react. To do this you will need to affirm your individual morals and code of ethics, even if you are open to being persuaded into other ways of thinking. The stronger your inner self, the more fluid your reactions will be. Living life with a black and white perspective shuts down many opportunities and experiences so learning to give yourself the flexibility to make decisions on a case by case basis is extremely handy. Not only will you be able to judge a situation more clearly, you will also take a more considered approach to life and make smarter choices.
Although this all may seem incredibly simple, it’s surprising how easily people forget the benefits of staying calm. Use logic to soothe yourself and filter your reactions through a strong foundation of common sense. Measure your behavior by detaching yourself from negativity to take a bird’s eye view of the problem. If it all becomes too much, let yourself be distracted enough that when you return to the issue you have a fresh pair of eyes that won’t be clouded by initial, inflammatory reactions. Your mental health is just as precious as your physical wellbeing so take care of your mind and keep calm.
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